Thursday, 27 August 2009

Advice and help for poem, please!!

Our Writers Group in Leyburn is joining forces with the Wensleydale Railway(the local heritage railway) to produce a booklet on the theme of trains (especially steam) which we hope to sell through their train shops.
I am writing and illustrating a section for children and here is the first draft of one of my poems.
It is for older children/ early teenage and for full impact is meant to be read out loud.
Advice and comments, please!

A Train is a...

silence taker
ground shaker

choo choo tweeter
coal eater

smoke maker
soot baker

steel stunner
people runner

carriage tugger
track hugger

piston squawker
tunnel corker

ear popper
traffic stopper

brake screecher
station reacher